Burt Reynolds Once Asked Me Out. I

If Your House Is Really A Mess And A Stranger Comes To The Door Greet Him With, 'who Could Have Done This? We Have No Enemies!'

It's An Ill Will That Blows When You Leave The Hairdresser.

When You Play Spin The Bottle, If They Don't Want To Kiss You They Have To Give You A Quarter. Well, Hell, By The Time I Was Twelve Years Old I Owned My Own Home.

A Stand-up Comic Is Judged By Every Line. Singers Get Applause At The End Of Their Song No Matter How Bad They Are.

You Know You're Old If They Have Discontinued Your Blood Type.