Burt Reynolds Once Asked Me Out. I

When You Hire A Person To Plan Your Wedding, This Does Not Include Securing The Groom. Plan To Get Married On Friday The 13th. In Years To Come This Will Make It Much Easier To Explain Why Things Turned Out Badly. To Look Beautiful At Your Wedding, Take Time To Plan It. It Took Me A Long Time To Find Two Ugly Bridesmaids And A Frumpy Little Flower Girl.

Any Time Three New Yorkers Get Into A Cab Without An Argument, A Bank Has Just Been Robbed.

My Cooking Is So Bad My Kids Thought Thanksgiving Was To Commemorate Pearl Harbor.

I Asked The Waiter, 'is This Milk Fresh?' He Said, 'lady, Three Hours Ago It Was Grass.'

How Do You Know They're Growing Up? Well, The Bite Marks Are Higher.