A Stand-up Comic Is Judged By Every

We Spend The First Twelve Months Of Our Children's Lives Teaching Them To Walk And Talk And The Next Twelve Telling Them To Sit Down And Shut Up.

I Want My Children To Have All The Things I Couldn't Afford. Then I Want To Move In With Them.

I Was The World's Ugliest Baby. When I Was Born, The Doctor Slapped Everybody.

When I Was A Kid And We Used To Play Post Office, I Was The Dead Letter Office.

For Fang, Getting Out Of Bed In The Morning Is A Career Move.