My Wifes Cooking Is So Bad The

I Tell Ya When I Fly, I Don't Get No Respect. I Took One Of Those Cheap Flights, No Frills. I Finished Eatin' And Had To Do The Dishes.

I'm A Downer. I've Been Depressed My Whole Life. Figure It Out.

With My Wife I Get No Respect. I Fell Asleep With A Cigarette In My Hand. She Lit It.

You Wanna Have Laughs? Do What I Do. When I Go Through A Tollbooth, I Keep Going. I Tell The Guy, The Car Behind Me Is Paying For Two.

When I Was Forty, I Was Getting Divorced, Living In A Low-class, Dirty Hotel In New York. My Mother Was Dying Of Cancer. I Owed $20,000. That Was About The Lowest. I Came Back To Show Business, And I Couldn't Get A Job. I Was Turned Down By Every Small-time Agent In New York.