Last Week I Told My Psychiatrist, 'i

When I Go To A Nude Beach, I Always Take A Ruler, Just In Case I Have To Prove Something.

I Went To See My Doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...i Told Him Once, "doctor, Every Morning When I Get Up And Look In The Mirror I Feel Like Throwing Up. What's Wrong With Me?" He Said, "i Don't Know, But Your Eyesight Is Perfect."

I Remember I Was So Depressed I Was Going To Jump Out A Window On The Tenth Floor; They Sent A Priest Up To Talk To Me And He Said, ' On Your Mark...'

Never Tell Your Wife She's Bad In Bed. She'll Go Out And Get A Second Opinion.

I Went To A Freak Show And They Let Me In For Nothing.