The Shape I'm In, I Could Donate

If Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder, So Is Ugliness.

With My Old Man I Got No Respect. I Asked Him, "how Can I Get My Kite In The Air?" He Told Me To Run Off A Cliff.

For Christmas One Year I Bought My Son A Bb Gun. He Bought Me A T-shirt With A Bulls Eye On The Back.

I Come Home From Work Early One Day, And I See A Guy Jogging Down The Street In His Underwear. I Ask Him, "why Are You Jogging In Your Underwear?" He Says, "you Came Home From Work Early".

When I Told My Wife She Was Lousy In Bed - She Went Out - She Got A Second Opinion.