If Beauty Is In The Eye Of

One Night I Asked A Cabbie To Take Me Where The Action Is, He Took Me To My House.

I Asked My Wife, 'on A Scale Of 1 To 10, How Do You Rate Me As A Lover?' She Said, 'you Know I'm No Good At Fractions.'

Last Time I Tried To Make Love To My Wife Nothing Happened, So I Said To Her, 'what's The Matter, You Can't Think Of Anybody Either?'

This Morning When I Put On My Underwear I Could Hear The Fruit-of-the-loom Guys Laughing At Me.

My Dog Learned How To Beg By Watching Me Through The Bedroom Door.