If Beauty Is In The Eye Of

I'll Tell Ya, I Don't Get No Respect... The Other Day, I Got Back From A Business Trip. I Got In A Cab And Said To The Driver, "hey! Take Me To Where The Action Is!" So Ya Know Where He Took Me? He Took Me To My House!

I Met The Surgeon General - He Offered Me A Cigarette.

I Have Three Kids, One Of Each.

My Kids Scotch Tape Worms To The Sidewalk And Watch The Birds Get Hernias.

My Childhood Was Bad. No Father. Mother Was Greedy And Brought Me Up Awful - Never Made Me Breakfast Once. I Don't Want To Get Started. One Story Is Worse Than Another.