I Met The Surgeon General - He

He Found A New Way To Cover Up His Bad Breath. He Holds Up His Arms.

I'm At An Age Where I Think More About Food Than I Do About Sex. Last Week I Put A Mirror Over My Dining Room Table.

In High School, When I Played Football I Got No Respect. I Shared A Locker With A Mop.

I'm A Downer. I've Been Depressed My Whole Life. Figure It Out.

Every Time I Get In An Elevator, The Operator Says The Same Thing To Me: 'basement?'