My Wife Has Teeth Like The Stars...

For Christmas One Year I Bought My Son A Bb Gun. He Bought Me A T-shirt With A Bulls Eye On The Back.

I Went To See My Doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...i Told Him Once, "doctor, Every Morning When I Get Up And Look In The Mirror I Feel Like Throwing Up. What's Wrong With Me?" He Said, "i Don't Know, But Your Eyesight Is Perfect."

Last Week My Tie Caught On Fire, Some Guy Tried To Put It Out With An Axe.

I Live In A Tough Neighborhood. They Got A Children's Zoo. Last Week, Four Kids Escaped.

I'm Sitting On Top Of The World, And I've Got Hemorrhoids.