My Wife Has Teeth Like The Stars...

Last Halloween A Kid Tried To Rip My Face Off. He Thought It Was A Mask. Now It's Different When I Open The Door The Kids Hand Me Candy.

I Once Met A Beautiful, Proper English Girl. I Bid Her Adieu.... She Bid Me A Don't.

If Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder, So Is Ugliness.

My Father Carries Around The Picture Of The Kid Who Came With His Wallet.

I Don't Get No Respect, No Respect At All!