I Have Three Kids, One Of Each.

If Every Man Was As True To His Country As He Was To His Wife, We'd Be In A Lot Of Trouble.

When My Old Man Wanted Sex, My Mother Would Show Him A Picture Of Me.

I Once Went Out With This Girl, She Was No Bargain Either, She Showed Up With Pigtails Under Her Arms.

My Wife Has To Be The Worst Cook. In My House, We Pray After We Eat.

My Parents Didn't Like Me. For Bathtub Toys They Gave Me A Blender And A Transistor Radio.