I Have Three Kids, One Of Each.

My Wife Only Has Sex With Me For A Purpose. Last Night It Was To Time An Egg.

I Tell Ya, Gambling Never Agreed With Me. Last Week I Went To The Track And They Shot My Horse With The Opening Gun.

If You Can't Write Your Own Material, You Have Very Little Chance Of Making It As A Comedian.

I Told My Wife A Man Is Like Wine, He Gets Better With Age. She Locked Me In The Cellar.

I Have Tried A Little Kinky Stuff. A Woman Called Me And Said, 'i Have Mirrors All Over My Bedroom. Bring A Bottle.' I Brought Windex.