My Kids Scotch Tape Worms To The

They Change The Sheets Every Day... From One Bed To Another.

When I Told My Wife She Was Lousy In Bed - She Went Out - She Got A Second Opinion.

We Sleep In Separate Rooms, We Have Dinner Apart, We Take Separate Vacations - We're Doing Everything We Can To Keep Our Marriage Together.

I Started Over Again With An Image: Nothing Goes Right. Then When The Godfather Came Out, All I Heard Was, Show Respect. With Me, You Show Respect. So I Changed The Image To I Don't Get No Respect. I Tried It Out In Greenwich Village. I Remember The First Joke I Told: Even As A Kid, I'd Play Hide And Seek And The Other Kids Wouldn't Even Look For Me. The People Laughed. After The Show, They Started Saying To Me, Me, Too - I Don't Get No Respect. I Figured, Let's Try It Again.

Last Week I Was Walking By A Cemetery, Two Guys Came After Me With Shovels. It Was All About Money.