My Son's An Idiot. His Teacher Asked

I Was So Ugly My Parents Had To Hang A Pork Chop Around My Neck To Get The Dog To Play With Me.

I Told My Doctor I Got Water On My Knee, He Gave Me A Sponge And Raised His Fee!

I Once Dated A Girl That Was Wild. She Was So Wild That One Night She Gave Her Phone Number To The Mechanical Bull.

When I Was Born ... The Doctor Came Out To The Waiting Room And Said To My Father ... I'm Very Sorry. We Did Everything We Could ... But He Pulled Through.

If You Could Learn To Make Love, I Could Fire The Chauffer.