My Wife Is So Fat That The

Steak And Sex, My Favorite Pair. I Get Them Both Very Rare.

I'm Getting So Old My Insurance Company Sends Me 1/2 A Calendar!

I Bought A Perfect Second Car... A Tow Truck.

I Say 'no' To Drugs. Whenever Someone Asks Me For Some Of My Drugs I Say, 'no.

I Was So Ugly My Parents Had To Hang A Pork Chop Around My Neck To Get The Dog To Play With Me.