My Wife Made Me Join A Bridge

I'm A Downer. I've Been Depressed My Whole Life. Figure It Out.

My Son's An Idiot. His Teacher Asked Him To Spell Mississippi. He Asked Which One? The River Or The State?

I Tell Ya When I Was A Kid, All I Knew Was Rejection. My Yo-yo, It Never Came Back.

My Kid Wants To Be A Prison Warden When He Grows Up So He Can Put Thumb Tacks On The Electric Chairs.

I Got My First Break And Became A Singing Waiter At Eighteen Or Nineteen. I Couldn't Make A Living At It. I Quit. Then I Got Married And Sold Aluminum Siding. My Wife Had Problems Physically. It Was Not Good.