My Wife Made Me Join A Bridge

I Know I'm Not Sexy. In High School I Was Voted Most Likely To Masturbate.

When I Was Born The Doctor Took One Look At My Face, Turned Me Over And Said, "look, Twins!"

I Knew A Girl So Ugly, They Use Her In Prisons To Cure Sex Offenders.

What A Dog I Got, His Favorite Bone Is In My Arm.

In The School I Went To, They Asked A Kid To Prove The Law Of Gravity And He Threw The Teacher Out Of The Window.