My Son Says I Never Tell Stories

There's A Charm, There's A Rhythm, There's A Soul To Jewish Humor. When I First Saw Richard Pryor Perform, I Told Him, 'you're Doing A Jewish Act.'

Modesty Is Not One Of My Virtues.

I Won't Eat In A Place That Has Suits Of Armor.

One Thing I've Never Said In My Whole Life Is, 'let's Have Dinner At A Japanese Restaurant.'

The Other Day My House Caught Fire. My Lawyer Said, "shouldn't Be A Problem. What Kind Of Coverage Do You Have?" I Said, "fire And Theft." The Lawyer Frowned. "uh Oh. Wrong Kind. Should Be Fire Or Theft."