There's Nobody To Believe In Anymore, Nobody

Let's Face It: It's Difficult Enough To Be Funny Without Worrying About What Is Going To Offend Whom.

The Other Day My House Caught Fire. My Lawyer Said, "shouldn't Be A Problem. What Kind Of Coverage Do You Have?" I Said, "fire And Theft." The Lawyer Frowned. "uh Oh. Wrong Kind. Should Be Fire Or Theft."

You Know You Are Getting Old When People Tell You How Good You Look.

Comedy Is An Amazing Calling. Once You Get That First Laugh, It's Hard To Turn Away. Then, Of Course, You're Hooked And You Have To Learn How To Survive In The Business.

I Made It, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I Didn't Have To Practice.