My Old Man Never Liked Me. He

When My Wife Drives, There's Always Trouble. The Other Day She Took The Car. She Came Home. She Told Me, There's Water In The Carburetor. I Asked Her, Where's The Car? She Said, In A Lake.

If Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder, So Is Ugliness.

Last Week I Was Walking By A Cemetery, Two Guys Came After Me With Shovels. It Was All About Money.

We Learned Sexual Technique From Our Dog. He Taught How To Beg, And He Taught My Wife How To Roll Over And Play Dead.

My Kids Scotch Tape Worms To The Sidewalk And Watch The Birds Get Hernias.