Cars And Women Are A Lot Alike.

My Old Man Never Liked Me. He Gave Me My Allowance In Traveler's Checks.

Last Week I Was Walking By A Cemetery, Two Guys Came After Me With Shovels. It Was All About Money.

Last Week My Tie Caught On Fire, Some Guy Tried To Put It Out With An Axe.

With My Doctor, I Don't Get No Respect. I Told Him I Want A Vasectomy. He Said With A Face Like Mine, I Don't Need One.

With Sex My Wife Thinks Twice Before She Turns Me Down. Yeah, Once In The Morning And Once At Night.