Cars And Women Are A Lot Alike.

I Get No Respect. The Way My Luck Is Running, If I Was A Politician I Would Be Honest.

My Daughters Been Picked Up So Many Times She's Starting To Grow Handles

When We Got Married, The First Thing My Wife Did Was Put Everything Under Both Names - Hers And Her Mother's.

In High School, When I Played Football I Got No Respect. I Shared A Locker With A Mop.

When I Was Born I Was So Ugly The Doctor Slapped My Mother.