Cars And Women Are A Lot Alike.

After I Got Divorced, I Said To Myself, I Will Never, Ever Get Married Again. It Was In Cement. I Went Through A Really Rough Twenty-five Years, But It Happened Again. I Fell In Love. I Told Her, Baby, I Don't Want A Prenuptial Agreement. This Is It. Everyone Told Me I Was Nuts. Well, My New Wife And I Are Married Six Years And We Get Along Great. You Can Make Anything Work If You're Both Givers.

My Wife Only Has Sex With Me For A Purpose. Last Night It Was To Time An Egg.

My Wife Is Always Trying To Get Rid Of Me. The Other Day She Told Me To Put The Garbage Out. I Said To Her I Already Did. She Told Me To Go And Keep An Eye On It.

They Change The Sheets Every Day... From One Bed To Another.

My Mother Never Breast Fed Me, She Told Me She Only Liked Me As A Friend.