I Get No Respect. The Way My

My Doctor Told Me To Watch My Drinking. Now I Drink In Front Of A Mirror.

My Father Gave Me A Bat For Christmas. The First Time I Tried To Play With It, It Flew Away.

Time And Tide And Hookers Wait For No Man.

My Kid Wants To Be A Prison Warden When He Grows Up So He Can Put Thumb Tacks On The Electric Chairs.

When I Was A Kid, I Never Went To Disneyland. My Ol' Man Told Me Mickey Mouse Died In A Cancer Experiment.