My Name Has Zero Value.

I Always Wanted To Write As Much As Perform.

I'm Not A Big Method Actor. I'm Much More Superficial.

I Think Helen Of Troy Must Have Been Pretty Hot. She Got Two Countries Going Crazy For 10 Years Over Her.

I Think If You Try To Tailor Your Act To Anybody, You End Up With An Act That Doesn't Work Anyway.

The Thing That Drives Me Crazy Is When Comics Say 'i Have Low Self-esteem.' No You Don't. You're Standing On Stage Asking People To Pay. You Don't Play An Instrument. You Want People To Pay To Hear What's In Your Mind. You Don't Have Low Self-esteem. You Might Have Other Problems.