I Always Wanted To Write As Much

The Mistake That People Make In Stand-up Is Thinking They're Profound Or They're Deep When There Are So Many People Who Have More Worthwhile Ways Of Phrasing Things.

I Think I Identify More With The Smart Guy, But Most People Might Take Umbrage At That. I Like To Think Of Myself As A Real Thinker, But I Suppose People Might Beg To Differ.

I Think Helen Of Troy Must Have Been Pretty Hot. She Got Two Countries Going Crazy For 10 Years Over Her.

I Think People Tend To Feel Odd When I Do My Act. Unless You Are An Ironic Person, It's Not A Good Place For You To Be.

Twitter Is One Of Those Dangerous Toys That If It Gets In The Hands Of The Wrong Person You'll Have The Mind Of A 12-year-old Masquerading As An Adult.