The Earth Is A Used Kleenex On

What I Love About Comedians Is Their Instinct Is Always To Go Against The Grain. Their Whole Existence Is Pointing Out The Elephant In The Room. Already You Can See Audiences Are Pushing Back, But We're The Ones Who Really Can Take It More Than Anybody.

The Senate Was Holding Hearings On Deceptive Sweepstakes Practices. These Companies Target The Elderly, Making Them Think They're Going To Get A Bunch Of Money, When In Reality They Never See Any Of It. The Most Popular Of These Scams Is Called Social Security.

That’s The Beauty Of Being A Comedian: It’s The One Job You’re Allowed To Do That. We’re Lucky. We’re Really Lucky.

I'm Quietly Becoming New York's Premiere Actor. People Don't Understand. They Have Me Pigeon-holed As A Comedian.

People's - Most People's Job Is Talking About The Future Or Like Money Not Even In The Present Tense. It's Not Even Paper.