That’s The Beauty Of Being A Comedian:

I've Been To Japan, I've Been To China, I've Been To Africa, I've Been To The Middle East, I've Been To Europe A Little Bit. I've Never Been To South America.

People Say History Was Written By The Winners. No, It Wasn't. It Was Written By The Bullies.

I'm Always Working On Stuff. But They Never Materialize. I'm Always Working On Movies And Tv Shows.

The Mistake That People Make In Stand-up Is Thinking They're Profound Or They're Deep When There Are So Many People Who Have More Worthwhile Ways Of Phrasing Things.

Everybody's Funny In Different Ways.