I Think If You Try To Tailor

I Always Wanted To Write As Much As Perform.

I Used To Love The Election Season'cause It's Kind Of Fun. Everyone Makes A Big Sport Out Of It With All These Different News Stories And Everything. I Like It Better Now That Everybody Knows All The Candidates From The Past 15 Years. But It Does Get Really Ugly. It's Ugly And It's Pugilist.

The Ancient Greeks Were The First Ones To Say An Unexamined Life Is Not Worth Living. They Don't Tell You Of Course What We Found Out, An Examined Life Not That Fascinating Either.

The Mistake That People Make In Stand-up Is Thinking They're Profound Or They're Deep When There Are So Many People Who Have More Worthwhile Ways Of Phrasing Things.

Marie Antoinette Was Funny, I'm Sure She Was Just Misinterpreted. You Know The 'let Them Eat Cake' Line. She Seems Like She Was Kind Of Funny, Like A Chelsea Handler Or Kathy Griffin Type.