I Don't Know Any Comedian Who Tailors

The Mistake That People Make In Stand-up Is Thinking They're Profound Or They're Deep When There Are So Many People Who Have More Worthwhile Ways Of Phrasing Things.

My Stand-up Act? I Combine The Fact That The World Is A Violent Place With The Fact That Each Person Is Responsible For The Situation They Are In.

Well... You Know, I Would Wake Up With A Terrible Hangover In A Jail Somewhere And Worst Part Was That I Would Not Know Why I Was There.

I Get The Impression The English Kings Were Witty, For Some Reason. I Feel Like All You Had Was Your Wit.

I Know Nowadays The Common Wisdom Is To Celebrate Diversity As Long As You Don't Point Out That People Are Different.