My Mother's Sister Was Killed In A

As Life's Pleasures Go, Food Is Second Only To Sex. Except For Salami And Eggs. Now That's Better Than Sex, But Only If The Salami Is Thickly Sliced.

If You Keep Yourself Alive And Current, Funny Is Funny.

My Son Says I Never Tell Stories About Anyone Who's Living.

When I Was In The Hospital They Gave Me Apple Juice Every Morning, Even After I Told Them I Didn't Like It. I Had To Get Even. One Morning, I Poured The Apple Juice Into The Specimen Tube. The Nurse Held It Up And Said, 'it's A Little Cloudy.' I Took The Tube From Her And Said, 'let Me Run It Through Again,' And Drank It. The Nurse Fainted.

Let's Face It: It's Difficult Enough To Be Funny Without Worrying About What Is Going To Offend Whom.