If You Keep Yourself Alive And Current,

There's A Charm, There's A Rhythm, There's A Soul To Jewish Humor. When I First Saw Richard Pryor Perform, I Told Him, 'you're Doing A Jewish Act.'

Eating Takes A Special Talent. Some People Are Much Better At It Than Others. In That Way, It Is Like Sex, And As With Sex, It's More Fun With Someone Who Really Likes It. I Can't Imagine Having A Lasting Friendship With Anyone Who Is Not Interested In Food.

Everything My Mother Made Had To Cook For 80 Hours, And When She Made Matzoh Balls She Didn't Know Fluffy. Everything Sank.

And Humor Has Always Been A Weapon. You Want To Get Even On Somebody? You Want To Attack Somebody? Make Fun Of Them.

Marriage Is Nature's Way Of Keeping Us From Fighting With Strangers.