My Father Used To Beat Me With

Element Of Surprise Is Really Fun For Me In Comedy. I Have To Be Surprised, And Everything's Been Done.

I Don't Want To Do An Edgy Show, I Didn't Want Bad Language. I Think Edginess Is The New Hackiness.

I Don't Want My Personal Life To Change. I Don't Understand Why People Strive For Fame. I Know It's Ironic For Me To Be Saying This, But This Will Be The Last One I Do.

I'm Not Versed Enough In Constitutional Law To Run For Office. I'd Have To Go Back To School Or Something.

I Love Playing A Curmudgeon. I Just Love Playing A Sour Guy.