Tigers Love Pepper...they Hate Cinnamon.

My Girlfriend Looks A Little Like Charlize Theron...and A Lot Like Patrick Ewing.

When You're Doing Standup You're Kind Of Doing, "hey. I Thought Of This. This May Be Funny.

I Think If You Come Out To California Trying To Be An Actor, It's Pretty Hard. There's Desperation. A Lot Of People Are Desperate, And A Lot Of People Are Clueless, Including Me. It's Hard To Try To Figure It Out. I've Never Told You, But I Have Head Shots That If You Saw Them... They're So Terrible! It's So Embarrassing.

Whether You Are On The Right Or The Left, Everyone Can Agree That There Are A Lot Of Outside Influences In American Politics That Are Not Good For The System. There's Just Too Much Money.

I Live In Los Angeles And I Had Been Drinking One Night, So I Was On The Walk Of Fame And I Saw Tony Danza's Star And I Started Urinating On It. Just Yelling Out, 'who's The Boss Now?'