Tigers Love Pepper...they Hate Cinnamon.

Yesterday, I Masturbated For 45 Minutes... With Salad Tongs.

When You're Doing Standup You're Kind Of Doing, "hey. I Thought Of This. This May Be Funny.

I Wonder If In 2050 There Will Be A Movie Called, 'dude, Where's My Spaceship'

I'm Proud Of The Hangover, But To Be In Movies Like This, Which Are Really The Only Places I Can Get Work, It's Really Quite The Opposite Of What I Am. I Like Sensitive Art-house Movies. I'm Not Even Much Of A Partier. I Mean, I'll Drink Myself Into Oblivion Alone In My Car.

Head Gear, Plus Acne Equals...table For One In The Cafeteria.