Modesty Is My Best Quality.

Everything Good That Happened To Me Happened By Accident.

Gags Die, Humor Doesn't.

The Doctors Couldn't Find Anything Wrong With Me Except That I Have A Slight Stomach Pain. Wait Till I Get My Hospital Bill! Then I'll Really Have A Pain The Stomach!

I Was Born In Waukegan A Long, Long Time Ago. As A Matter Of Fact, Our Rabbi Was An Indian.

Any Man Who Would Walk Five Miles Through The Snow, Barefoot, Just To Return A Library Book So He Could Save Three Cents - That's My Kind Of Guy.