Modesty Is My Best Quality.

A Rich Man Is One Who Isn't Afraid To Ask The Salesperson To Show Him Something Cheaper.

There's Only Five Real People In Hollywood. Everyone Else Is Mel Blanc.

I'm An Old Newspaper-man Myself, But I Quit Because I Found There Was No Money In Old Newspapers.

Hors D'oeuvre: A Ham Sandwich Cut Into Forty Pieces.

I'm Happy To Be Making My First Appearance On Air Professionally. By That I Mean I'm Finally Getting Paid, Which I Know Will Be A Great Relief To My Creditors.