Men Who Do Things Without Being Told

In High School, When I Played Football I Got No Respect. I Shared A Locker With A Mop.

With My Old Man I Got No Respect. I Asked Him, "how Can I Get My Kite In The Air?" He Told Me To Run Off A Cliff.

If You Can't Write Your Own Material, You Have Very Little Chance Of Making It As A Comedian.

People Say Fish Is Good For A Diet. But Fish Should Never Be Cooked In Butter. Fish Should Be Cooked In Its Natural Oils - Texaco, Mobil, Exxon .

I Shouldn't Tell Jokes About My Wife. She's Attached To A Machine That Keeps Her Alive... The Refrigerator.