Life Is Just A Bowl Of Pits.

I Bought A Perfect Second Car... A Tow Truck.

I Walked In On My Wife And The Milkman, The First Thing She Says Is "don't Tell The Butcher"!

My Wife Has To Be The Worst Cook. I've Got The Only Dog Who Begs For Alka-seltzer.

It's Tough To Stay Married. My Wife Kisses The Dog On The Lips, Yet She Won't Drink From My Glass.

She Was So Fat That Her Clothes Are Made By Omar The Tent Maker.