Life Is Just A Bowl Of Pits.

My Cousin Is Gay, I Always Tell Him That In Our Family Tree, He's In The Fruit Section.

What A Dog I Got. Last Night He Went On The Paper Four Times - Three While I Was Reading It.

I Told My Dentist I Want A Tooth To Match The Others. He Gave My One With Four Cavities.

My Childhood Was Bad. No Father. Mother Was Greedy And Brought Me Up Awful - Never Made Me Breakfast Once. I Don't Want To Get Started. One Story Is Worse Than Another.

My Wife And I Keep Fighting About Sex And Money. I Think She Charges Me Too Much.