I Can't Get No Respect.

My Wife Says 90% Of Sex Occurs Between The Ears. But I Need A Girl Who Can Blow More Just My Mind.

I've Been Writing Jokes Since I'm Fifteen. Not Out Of Happiness, But To Go To A Different Place, Because Reality Wasn't Good To Me.

She Was So Fat That Her Clothes Are Made By Omar The Tent Maker.

With Me, Nothing Goes Right. My Psychiatrist Said My Wife And I Should Have Sex Every Night. Now, We'll Never See Each Other!

I Tell Ya, My Wife Was Never Nice. On Our First Date, I Asked Her If I Could Give Her A Goodnight Kiss On The Cheek - She Bent Over!