My Family Was A Bunch Of Drunks.

My Wife Wants Sex In The Back Of The Car And She Wants Me To Drive.

She Was So Fat That Her Belly Button Makes An Echo.

...went To A Bar For A Few Drinks. The Bartender Asked What I Wanted. "surprise Me", I Said. So He Showed Me A Naked Picture Of My Wife.

The Shape I'm In, I Could Donate My Body To Science Fiction.

I Remember I Was So Depressed I Was Going To Jump Out A Window On The Tenth Floor; They Sent A Priest Up To Talk To Me And He Said, ' On Your Mark...'