Laugh At Yourself First, Before Anyone Else

Cocktails Are Society's Most Enduring Invention!

Only Those Who Have Earned Leisure Know How To Use It Profitably.

Fight Fire With Fire. If You Must Have Bores, Always Put Them Together Or At The Same Table ... Bores Have An Effervescent Chemical Reaction On One Another At A Party. They Invariably Have A Marvelous Time Trading Banalities In The Absence Of Competition. Clichés Roll Trippingly Off The Tongue Like Sparkling Epigrams And Trite Observations Acquire Depth Sinking Into Receptive Minds.

The Loudest Psalm Singer In The Congregation Always Is A Reformed Sinner.

[on The British Museum:] It Was Manifestly Impossible To Read All The Books In That Huge, Gloomy Structure, But I Made A Good Try And Accumulated A Fund Of Useless Information Guaranteed To Cast A Pall Over Any Dinner Table.