It's So Long Since I've Had Sex

There Are Many Self-help Books By Ph.d.s, But I Hold A Different Degree: An I.b.t.i.a.-i've Been Through It All. This Degree Comes Not On Parchment But Gauze, And It Entitles Me To Tell You That There Is A Way To Get Through Any Misfortune.

In Every Human Endeavor, Persistence Is Everything.

A Study Says Owning A Dog Makes You 10 Years Younger. My First Thought Was To Rescue Two More, But I Don't Want To Go Through Menopause Again.

If You're Saying The Same Line 10 Times And Making It Look Like You Just Came Up With It, That's Acting.

It's So Long Since I've Had Sex I've Forgotten Who Ties Up Who.