You Know It's Time To Start Using

I Think Anyone Who's Perfectly Happy Isn't Particularly Funny.

The Glass Is Always Half Empty. All Good Comedians Are Manic-depressive.

There Is Nothing Funny About Aging: It Is Rotten And Depressing. Anyone Who Tells You Otherwise Just Hasn't Been Paying Attention.

I Adore My Apartment In New York. It Was A Ballroom That I Remade, So It's Like A Loft But Done By Louis The Fifteenth.

Run Scared ... And They Never Catch You.