She's So Fat, She's My Two Best

You're College Graduates Now, So Use Your Education. Remember: It's Not Who You Know, It's Whom.

God Always Comes Up With A Third Act Twist -- And We Won't Know Until We Die Whether The Play Was A Comedy Or A Tragedy.

That Girl Had A Great Way Of Making Friends, And Strangers, And Anyone Else Who Was Around.

My Father Was A Doctor So I Was Around Death All My Life. So, I Was Very Used To It Because He Was A F-king Doctor.

You Know You're Getting Old When Work Is A Lot Less Fun And Fun Is A Lot More Work.