She's So Fat, She's My Two Best

Comediennes Are The Lucky Ones, Because If You're Funny, You Can Be 125 Years Old And They Will Still Accept You.

Your Anger Can Be 49 Percent And Your Comedy 51 Percent, And You're Okay. If The Anger Is 51 Percent, The Comedy Is Gone.

The Glass Is Always Half Empty. All Good Comedians Are Manic-depressive.

I Was The Last Girl In Larchmont, Ny To Get Married. My Mother Had A Sign Up: "last Girl Before Freeway."

The Only Way I Can Get A Man To Touch Me At This Age Is Plastic Surgery.