Incredibly, Almost Every Hotel I Ever Played

Men Put All Kinds Of Expectations On You. They Want You To Scream 'you're The Best' While Swearing You've Never Done This With Anyone Before.

When I Was Growing Up In Comedy, There Were Maybe 10 Comics In The Whole Country. Everyone Had A Day Job. You Worked Free For Years In Little Clubs, Then You Got Your Big Break And Became A Star.

I Just Get The Feeling That If Jesse Helms Was In Charge Of Art In America, You'd Go Into A Museum And See Nothing But Prints Of Dogs Playing Cards.

It Doesn't Bother Me That I'm Not A Household Word On The East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm So Popular In These Cities Where You've Never Imagined An East Coast Comedian Working.

Now That The Court Has Declared Money To Be Speech, I Say We Replace The Current Court With Some Ben Franklins, Thomas Jeffersons, George Washingtons, A Couple Of Susan B. Anthony's, Roosevelts, Hamiltons, A Sacajawea Or Two, And An Abe Lincoln To Cover Scalia In Full.