I Run Everywhere And Eavesdrop. It's The

Sometimes, If You Really Don't Know How You Feel About A Topic, Reading How Both Sides Argue It Can Help.

You Know You Are In Love When You Are Willing To Share Your Cash-machine Number.

The Vatican Is Against Surrogate Mothers. Good Thing They Didn't Have That Rule When Jesus Was Born.

Guys Wake Up At Your Place And They Expect Breakfast. They Don't Eat Bagels And M&m's In The Morning. They Want Things Like Toast. I Say, 'i Don't Have These Recipes.'

It Doesn't Bother Me That I'm Not A Household Word On The East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm So Popular In These Cities Where You've Never Imagined An East Coast Comedian Working.