I'm Going To Get Married Again Because

I Took An Acting Class. After The First Day, The Teacher Quit, So They Said Take Another. When I Saw 'how To Be A Stand-up Comedian,' It Resonated. I Realized I'd Rather Make 200 People Laugh Than Make One Person Cry.

My Mother Always Said Don't Marry For Money, Divorce For Money.

I Get My Sense Of Humor From My Parents. That's Why They Don't Have One Anymore.

I Go Running When I Have To. When The Ice Cream Truck Is Doing Sixty.

The Only Way To Really Have Safe Sex Is To Abstain. From Drinking.