I Went To The 30th Reunion Of

I Don't Think I Was Funny Until College. I Lived With Some Harvard Md/phd Students - They Were So Smart, And What I Contributed To The House Was, I Was The Funny One.

My Husband Wanted One Of Those Big-screen Tvs For His Birthday. So I Just Moved His Chair Closer To The One We Have Already.

My Mom Was A Ventriloquist And She Always Was Throwing Her Voice. For Ten Years I Thought The Dog Was Telling Me To Kill My Father.

I've Been Pitching A Show Of Five Female Stand-up Comedians Through The Generations, From Phyllis Diller To Amy Schumer, So When I Got An E-mail Asking Me If I Would Participate In The Women In Comedy Festival, I Was Thrilled.

I Don't Like To Channel Surf. You Guys Like It, Don't You. You Guys Like To Change The Channel. We Like To Change You.