My Husband Wanted One Of Those Big-screen

I've Been Pitching A Show Of Five Female Stand-up Comedians Through The Generations, From Phyllis Diller To Amy Schumer, So When I Got An E-mail Asking Me If I Would Participate In The Women In Comedy Festival, I Was Thrilled.

I Went To The 30th Reunion Of My Preschool. I Didn't Want To Go, Because I've Put On Like A Hundred Pounds.

My Mother Always Said Don't Marry For Money, Divorce For Money.

I Just Got My First Bikini. It's A Three-piece: A Top, A Botton, And A Blindfold For You.

I Found Out Why Cats Drink Out Of The Toilet. My Mother Told Me It's Because The Water Is Cold In There. And I'm Like: How Did My Mother Know That?