I'm A Hero Wid Coward's Legs, I'm

In The Human Race Today, You Came Last.

I Thought I'd Begin By Reading A Poem By Shakespeare, But Then I Thought, Why Should I? He Never Reads Any Of Mine.

Only On The Third Class Tourist Class Passengers' Deck Was It A Sultry Overcast Morning, But Then If You Do Things On The Cheap You Must Expect These Things.

Money Can't Buy Friends, But You Can Get A Better Class Of Enemy.

Education Isn't Everything, For A Start It Isn't An Elephant