If I Had My Life To Live

I Always Made Up My Own Acts; Built Them Out Of My Knowledge And Observation Of Real Life. I'd Had Wonderful Opportunities To Study People; And Every Time I Went Out On The Stage I Tried To Show The Audience Some Bit Of True Human Nature.

I Personally Stay Away From Natural Foods. At My Age I Need All The Preservatives I Can Get.

Sex Isn't Necessary. You Don't Die Without It, But You Can Die Having It.

I'm Looking For Loopholes.

The Funniest Thing About Comedy Is That You Never Know Why People Laugh. I Know What Makes Them Laugh But Trying To Get Your Hands On The Why Of It Is Like Trying To Pick An Eel Out Of A Tub Of Water.