I Was So Wrinkled I Could Screw

A Friend Told Me The Longer You Keep Romano Cheese, The Better It Gets. So, I Kept It Three Years. And This Thing Turned Mean. Now And Then I'd Open The Refrigerator Door And Throw It Some Food. I'd Have To Walk It Now And Then. And Then It Grew This One Leg. And It's Got This Ugly Fuzz All Over It. And The Dogs Won't Run With It.

I Admit, I Have A Tremendous Sex Drive. My Boyfriend Lives Forty Miles Away.

Get Married With The Feeling It Is Going To Last. Not Like The Bride I Know Who Doubled The Wedding Cake Recipe And Froze One.

I'm The Only Woman Who Can Walk In Central Park At Night... And Reduce The Crime Rate.

I Have So Many Liver Spots, I Ought To Come With A Side Of Onions.