I Was So Wrinkled I Could Screw

This Man I Was Going With Asked Me For My Finger Measurements. I Thought He Was Going To Buy Me A Ring For Christmas, But He Gave Me A Bowling Ball.

[on Plastic Surgery:] When I Die, God Won't Know Me. There Are No Two Parts Of My Body The Same Age.

When I Go To The Beauty Parlor, I Always Use The Emergency Entrance. Sometimes I Just Go For An Estimate.

I Realize It Is Normal To Argue. I Almost Missed World War Ii Watching My Parents Fight.

I Buried A Lot Of My Ironing In The Back Yard.