Actually, I Comb My Hair Quite Often.

I Realize It Is Normal To Argue. I Almost Missed World War Ii Watching My Parents Fight.

It's A Certain Kind Of Immortality, Because Those Disney Films Do Go On And On And On.

When I Go To Bed At Night, I've Got So Much Grease On My Body I Wear Snow Chains To Hold Up My Gown.

A Friend Told Me The Longer You Keep Romano Cheese, The Better It Gets. So, I Kept It Three Years. And This Thing Turned Mean. Now And Then I'd Open The Refrigerator Door And Throw It Some Food. I'd Have To Walk It Now And Then. And Then It Grew This One Leg. And It's Got This Ugly Fuzz All Over It. And The Dogs Won't Run With It.

You Know What Keeps Me Humble? Mirrors!