I Was Doing Comedy In Laundry Mats

I Got Home From Work Today And Took Like A One Hundred Hour Nap. No You Did Not. You'd Be Very Sick If You Were Taking One Hundred Hour Naps. That's A Coma! If You Said You Took A Coma After Work I'd Be Able To Follow The Story.

I Did Stand-up Comedy For Seventeen Years. I Need To Explore Other Things.

I Miss Dating Only For That Final Moment You Kiss Goodnight, Watch Her Get Out Of Your Car And Run Into The Police Station.

Sometimes, Like We All Do, I Look At Myself In The Mirror. Sometimes I Cry. Like A Really Hard Cry Like You Just Watch Yourself Cry But Then You're Done And You're Just Glowing And You're Staring At Yourself.

When You're On A Movie Set And You Are Hopefully Making A Comedy, Everyone's Stifling Their Laughter. You're Looking At The Crew Guys, Hoping Someone Is Making That Face Like, And Not Like, This Is Not Working Out, Man.