I Was Doing Comedy In Laundry Mats

I'm Watching Some Television Tonight. I'm Watching The Discovery Channel. You Know, This Channel, You Never Ever Plan On Watching This. It Just Happens. You're Flickin' Around, All Of A Sudden - Boom - You're Watching A Mole For An Hour-and-a-half.

Sometimes, When You Want To Make A Difference In A Person's Life, Stay Out Of It.

Teach Your Kids To Make Deplorable Choices And Hopefully They'll Rebel And Make The Right Ones.

I Never Leave A Dog Alone In A Car On A Hot Day. I Make Sure It's With An Elderly Person Holding A Baby.

Created A Word Game To Play With A Person You're Fighting With. Silent Treatment. Nothing Happens Until One Of You Quietly Says, Hey, You Hungry?