I Was Almost Put Out Of Business

The Funniest Thing About Comedy Is That You Never Know Why People Laugh. I Know What Makes Them Laugh But Trying To Get Your Hands On The Why Of It Is Like Trying To Pick An Eel Out Of A Tub Of Water.

Fields' Reply: He'd Think I Was A Sissy.

Somebody's Been Putting Pineapple Juice In My Pineapple Juice!

The Laziest Man I Ever Met Put Popcorn In His Pancakes So They Would Turn Over By Themselves.

All My Available Funds Are Completely Tied Up In Cash.