All Things Considered, I'd Rather Be In

If I Had To Live My Life Over, I'd Live Over A Saloon.

I Like Children. If They're Properly Cooked.

It Is Well To Remember That There Are Five Reasons For Drinking: The Arrival Of A Friend, One's Present Or Future Thirst, The Excellence Of The Cognac, Or Any Other Reason

During One Of My Treks Through Afghanistan, We Lost Our Corkscrew. We Were Compelled To Live On Food And Water For Several Days.

Oh, Insomnia! Ah, Well, I Know A Good Cure For It... Get Plenty Of Sleep.