I Was A Poster Child... For Birth

I Live In A Bad Neighborhood. Why, I Saw Two Complete Strangers Share A Taxi - Yeah, One Guy Took The Radio And The Other Guy Took The Tires.

What A Dog I Got, He Found Out We Look Alike, So He Killed Himself.

It Was The Same Thing In The Army, No Respect. They Gave Me A Uniform That Glowed In The Dark.

Never Guess Your Wife's Size. Just Buy Anything Marked Petite And Hold On To The Receipt.

I Like To Date Schoolteachers. If You Do Something Wrong, They Make You Do It Over Again.