I Was A Poster Child... For Birth

I Come From A Stupid Family. My Father Worked In A Bank. They Caught Him Stealing Pens.

Life's A Short Trip. You'll Find Out.

If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong.

My Family Was A Bunch Of Drunks. When I Was Six I Came Up Missing, They Put My Picture On A Bottle Of Scotch.

I Came From A Real Tough Neighborhood. I Put My Hand In Some Cement And Felt Another Hand.